Fume Rite 2: Light My Dynamite with Your Cigar, Baby!

I like the way cigars smell (although I love the way pipes smell more).  And I’ve had Cuban cigars and they’re nothing special (except illegal to bring through customs, or were, or maybe still are).  But what really gets me excited is Clint Eastwood lighting a stick of dynamite with a lit cigar.  I so very much want to do that and blow something up.  And while he’s not such a looker at the present moment, back in the day, Clint Eastwood was something very special.  He was so special that he was on a show called Rawhide, which while the show had absolutely nothing to do with S&M, the title had so much potential.

Plus, there was that movie with the cigar smoking nun that Eastwood was in……

There are so many fun thingsT you can do with cigars.  So many things……

Relly, who is with Kinky Catawba NC, MAsT: Hickory (both on FetLife), and The Leather History Conference ( http://www.leatherhistoryconference.com/leatherh/Home.html), and who is a whip master that can snap bumblebees out of the air, is a cigar aficionado.  Relly started out smoking cigarettes in high school like all the cool kids, but when he joined the Navy in ’07 his dalliance became a habit.  He realized that when you have an instructor that smokes, you get more breaks during job training.  And if a majority of your classmates also smoke and keep suggesting smoke breaks to your instructor, you hardly get any work done at all while Uncle Sam’s taxpayers keep you up.  His cigarette smoking lead him down Tobacco Road, like so many of our service people, and soon he was smoking cigars and pipes.

 ”Cigarettes are a nasty habit, and cigars are a social habit, and smoking a pipe is a hobby.” 

When Relly got into “the lifestyle” in ’09, he started getting creative with his cigars.  While he had already experienced the camaraderie of cigar smoking, he started exploring just what he could do with a sub and a cigar.  ”From a vanilla aspect…It’s just good fellowship. You go to a nice cigar bar, and it doesn’t really matter who you are, you can literally sit down next to someone you never met before and strike up a good conversation with somebody. ”  But in the kink world, cigars can be so much more.  ”I know girls that get off on walking around carrying an ashtray. The master picks out what he’s going to smoke, and the slave will lick it– wet it, cut it, light it, and hold the ash tray—or be the ash tray.”  Playing with cigar ash is a lot safer than playing with cigarette ash because cigarettes burn hotter than cigars.  

 

 “You can even put cigar ash in their mouth. There’s a nice smokey salt taste to the cigar ash. Just the feel of cigar ash is a textural based feel. It’s very much like the silk feel of the sex play powders. It’s a very nice textural feel. It’s just a warming heat. It’s very enjoyable. A lot of people like to roll the ash into a nice corset bound cleavage and it kinds of marks them as well. ”  And it’s vagina safe!

“Cigar play has the service aspect of it. And the basic play aspect of it. In the gay lover community, when they first started coming up, the masters would be sitting in their vests, and they would grab the slave’s collar and blow the smoke directly into their face, and it was very raw and powerful with that energy. The aspect of taking that control and forcing it on them. You know getting smoke in your face is generally something you wouldn’t want, but it’s something that you’re willing to take. And I do that as well. It is very empowering. It kind of sets the mood both ways.”

 

Remember, cigars still burn.

Relly, who is well acquainted with Pagan practices from when he helped lay chaplains in the Navy as a Religious Program Specialist, relayed to me a cutting and cigar ritual performed for a good friend of his that can be borrowed for several different rites of passages and other rituals.  ”He had a ritualistic cutting and scarification because he wanted this scar to last. He had a cutting done with symbols that meant a great deal to him, and while the cut was fresh he had people around him that were very close to him smoking cigars to impart themselves into the cigar. They took that ash into a bowl and ground that ash into the cutting, putting part of them into that cutting so that he could carry them with him for the rest of his life. It was a beautiful ceremony.”  This type of ritual could be incorporated into a handfasting, a Paganing (since it goes along with the American custom of handing out cigars when a baby is born), rituals of protection or naming, rites of initiation, or just about anything.  The cigar itself incorporates Earth with the tobacco leaves and wrapper, Water with wetting it down, Fire with lighting it, and Air with smoking it, which turns back into Earth with the ashes.  

Important links to click:

The Barbed Pentacle Yule Gift Guide:  http://barbedpentacle.com/barbed-pentacle-yule-gift-guide

The very cool glow stick giveaway! (a Rafflecopter giveaway)

http://www.annavalenteart.com/

Things to know about the groups in Hickory:  Both groups are on Fetlife and have specific rules.  They are not about hooking-up.  They are more about fellowship and learning.  They are also vetted groups.  Please look them up for more information.  If you still have questions, feel free to message Relly on Fetlife.  He’s super nice and there to help.

Those Crazy Cubans

Cigar Eye Candy

 

 

A Bellocq Beltane

Happy Beltane!  It’s time again for fire and sex!  Two of my favorite things.  Another of my favorite things is E.J. Bellocq’s photos for Storyville.  For those of you who are ignorant of whore history, Storyville was a legal red light district in New Orleans during the Belle Epoque. E.J. Bellocq, a New Orleans native, fulfilled his desires by taking photographs of the people who supplied the entertainment in Storyville.

 In honor of Beltane, I propose that you and a lover or lovers, choose a few of the photos that make you the most hard and bothered, and work on recreating them for yourself.  Remember, all acts of love and pleasure are acts of devotion to HER.  Set up a sacred space and get started!

To help set the mood, listen to Lisa Thiel’s “Beltane” https://youtu.be/qCsddmu9Lvs  I really like this song for Beltane because it has a nice driving beat for fucking, and her voice has that ragged longing in it that is so drippingly seductive.  Plus, it’s all about divine sex.

Happy Beltane!

 

Life, Liberty, and the Pursuit of Happiness

Let my worship be within the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals…” —Charge of the Goddess

by Issac Bonewits

THESE are the times that try men’s souls. The summer soldier and the sunshine patriot will, in this crisis, shrink from the service of their country; but he that stands by it now, deserves the love and thanks of man and woman. Tyranny, like hell, is not easily conquered; yet we have this consolation with us, that the harder the conflict, the more glorious the triumph. What we obtain too cheap, we esteem too lightly: it is dearness only that gives every thing its value. Heaven knows how to put a proper price upon its goods; and it would be strange indeed if so celestial an article as FREEDOM should not be highly rated.” –The Crisis by Thomas Paine (http://www.ushistory.org/paine/crisis/c-01.htm)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rIYlAdxlIzI

Whether you believe it or not, I am a huge Patriot.  However, I’m extremely skeptical of the US government, and I always have been.  When I was in 6th grade I put a sticker on my violin case that says “I love my country, but I fear my government.” (Bet you didn’t know that I played…..)  Pagans, as a whole, whether they themselves are bright enough to realize it, are big Patriots too.  While they may not be the 2nd Amendment and state’s rights advocate that I am, every single one of us values our 1st Amendment right to the freedom of religion and the right to publicly bitch about this right getting trampled on by people who believe that America’s founding fathers were overwhelmingly Christian (they were mainly deists, by the way).  Every Independence Day I gleefully blow up things while embracing the true spirit of our national anthem, making sure to be really drunk so that I can hit the high notes, and pondering how the name “de Kalb” makes me automatically think of penises–specifically the heads of penises.  I occasionally blow up things on that perhaps spurious holiday of Mec Dec Day–just because I can as a good Patriot.  I like to think of it as Independence Day practice.  I also have this insane desire/obsession with joining the DAR–like they’d ever take me!  Even if I can prove the right ancestors, he’d probably end up being some Tory bastard that doesn’t count (and FYI, adopted relatives do not count for the DAR who are a little WASP).

During the last couple months my matron deity has been turning my head toward the archetype/goddess of Liberty (or perhaps it’s just Selena Fox trying to recruit me through mind control for the Lady Liberty League since I constantly jump nude on my First Amendment trampoline).  It’s been a curious kind of meditation.

Liberty as a word means: “the state of being free within society from oppressive restrictions imposed by authority on one’s way of life, behavior, or political views.”  Sounds a lot like St. Aradia’s view on the world and why in some of the older versions of the Charge of the Goddess Pagans are encouraged to worship skyclad.  Liberty use to be used more in every day speech than it is now.  When was the last time that you heard the word used in a conversation that didn’t center around politics?  Does the Navy still use it to describe shore leave?  I don’t know, but the scuttlebutt says no.  There are some that would argue that a love of liberty leads one to be a libertine, but since when has that been a bad thing?

While I take a break to paint my fingernails and toenails red, white, and blue, since those are America’s magical power colors, let’s put on our Neil Gaiman hats for a moment.  We need to get into that whole “American Gods” mindset to tackle the next little bit of information (go paint your nails while you get into the right frame of mind, or Google “American Gods”).

The Goddess Liberty can be seen in many forms in many different cultures, but our modern view of her and her daughters and permutations, stem from ancient Rome (wow, what a big fucking surprise) as Libertas.

From there, she traveled all over the Roman Empire, specifically to Britain, where she fornicated, fused, and mused with Bride (and her other forms as well), to form Britannia.

I want some golden nipple money!

 

The English colonists brought her with them from over the water, to fornicate, fuse, and muse once more with the new deities in the New World to create Columbia.  If you open up another tab and do a quick Google images search of “Liberty”, “Britannia”, “Columbia”, and even “Justice”, they all look very similar.  From the Roman era, through the Victorian, up until now.  Some of the images are so similar that it’s creepy.

There is a modern artist out there that is trying to change the stock image of Columbia and to resurrect her to social prominence (because here again, how often is the goddess Columbia talked about any more.  You hear “Columbia” and you automatically want to say, “Where I get my drugs.”).

Holly DeFount is the curator, artist, and vision behind “Columbia Rising: Revisioning the American Goddess”.  I have to admit, when I first saw that word “revisioning,” Reclaiming fluffiness immediately came to mind.  But after thoroughly pursuing her site, I don’t think that her project is that kind of revisioning.  Instead, this is more along the lines of fingering a muted goddess back to screaming as oppose to just giving her new make-up for a new era.

You can’t very well stay quiet if you have fire licking at your clit.  DeFount has a master plan for her project.  While she has been working on creating new images for Columbia within her own framework of being an American, she has also put out the call to other artists of all kinds to lift Columbia back up in their own ways.  The first “Columbia Rising” exhibit will be July 11, 2014, but it’s assumed that other exhibits will soon be planned and booked.  http://columbiarising.com/exhibit-2014/  If you fancy yourself talented and creative, then you really should make an effort to participate in this magic.  How often are you given the opportunity to help kindle the fire that will reforge a goddess?  If you like to bitch about the government, now is your opportunity to do something to change the way things are.  What do you think Columbia is going to do once she’s washes the ashes off her face?  Just gaze about in proud admiration?  NO!  She’s going to take names and whoop ass!  Like from the previous post, channel St. Aradia and be a part of the solution instead of just an apathetic waste of resources.

By the way, even the American colonists weren’t happy with the amount of freedom and liberty that they had after they won the American Revolution.  Before the end of George Washington’s term in office, citizens in Pennsylvania staged an arm rebellion over taxes on whiskey.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xvaEJzoaYZk

Be at liberty to check out these freedom mongers:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

 Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Holly Queen Challenge

For Litha 2013 (http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/06/the-litha-challenge-something-fun-crafty-and-potentially-gritty/), I challenged everyone to make a “living wall” for the summer as suggested on Magaly Guerrero’s blog, Pagan Culture (http://pagan-culture.blogspot.com/2013/06/a-living-wall-for-midsummer.html) and to send in pictures. If you would like to participate, send in pictures of your wall and descriptions to chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com.  Please put “Holly Queen Challenge” in the subject line.

Here’s mine:

 

Pedro from South of the Boarder (http://www.thesouthoftheborder.com/), the best place to go when inebriated.

 

This is my bikini top from Mexico and ring from Magdalena, a piece of blue creek glass that a house mate gave me this summer, and my Almalthea horns from a sacrifice.

 

This is my cowerie collar for all those fun money spells, my new business cards that are attached with cloak clips that have tons of fun uses, my gypsy ear rings, and the skin that my snake shed at Litha. The beads that are holding everything up is a belly chain from my belly dancing days.

 

These are my favorite tracts so far this summer on my red hot tract panties and my new fly swatter from my honey.

 

Bellatrix S’s wall and posthttp://armedvenus.blogspot.com/2013/07/the-road-and-wall-not-actually-asoiaf.html

Yule Challenge 2013  send your pics to chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com

From the top: Evil Eye candy for 2014, the crystal from the Perchta Power Project, my “confidence” clothes pin from our annual Krampus/Perchta ritual, yarn from a Songbird Snuggle, money for the New Year, greenery and prickles from our sexy Yule meditation, and last but not least–Perchta and Krampus by Aramis September.

Beware of the Jezebel Spirit! A Pagan Service Announcement

I don’t often repost blogs from other people, but I came across this tonight when I was taking a break from other projects and doing some research for upcoming “Barbed Pentacle” posts, and I have to say that I laughed so hard that I thought I was going to have to be cut out of my corset.  I laughed and laughed and laughed.  And I may have passed out a little.  But when I came to, it occurred to me that it’s stupid shit like this that gets good people killed.  It’s a little long, but it’s worth the read.  My favorite quote is “Whoredom spirits can even make the homely look sexually attractive.”  If that is true, then I’m spreading my legs wide!

Jezebel!!!!

http://www.jonasclark.com/spiritual-warfare-prayer/sex-seduction-jezebel-spirit-whoredoms.html

These folks are spreading their legs for Jezebel and her whoredom spirits:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Straight Laced and Well Embraced

Happy Ostara!

Psst, come here and give me a hug.  Can you feel what’s hugging me as you hug me?  If you don’t know what that is, then your ignorance about foundation garments is appalling. Some days are corset days, some days are bra days, and some days are dirty hippie days when I wear nothing at all.

I like corsets.  I don’t wear them tight enough to permanently change my shape.  I wear them just tight enough that they’re not slipping around and being uncomfortable.  I can do anything in a corset: fuck, toss cabers, cook, drive, run, kneel and suck, ride carousels– anything I want to do.  I like corsets because it feels like someone is always hugging me, like a lover wrapping his or her arms around me as they look over my shoulder.

There are tons of different styles of corsets, ranging from from ancient to modern.  I prefer a corset that’s more in a modest Victorian style–one that covers my tits (because why should you have to wear a bra with a corset?  That’s stupid!) and comes down far enough on my hips that when I kneel or bend over it doesn’t slip up over the waist band of my jeans.

While corsets may seem expensive and time consuming, they’re really not.

In the long run, corsets work out to be cheaper than bras, especially if you shop around and take good care of your garments.  You only need one corset (although more is always fun).  You don’t wash it more than once a year (if that).  You hang it over a hanger in the closet to air, if you want you can put fabric refresher on it, and the only other expense is buying camisoles to go under the corset.  Cotton camis are much cheaper than bras and much easier to wash.  Once you practice a time or two, putting on your corset is a cinch because you shouldn’t unlace it after every wearing.  You only need to loosen the laces before storage.

 

Ideally, corsets should be just tight enough not to slide around, like someone giving you a nice hug.  There is the practice of corset training, which is a form of body modification.  During the Victorian Era, it was the norm to purposely and permanently change a woman’s shape by using corset training. 

Corset piercing is another popular form of body modification.

Magically, corsets are like egg shells–protective and decorative.  They can be used for magical and psychic protection since they cover your heart, solar plexus, and sacral chakras.

Your corset, when used magically, is an extension of your psychic walls of protection.  You can use color magic to boost this principle, applique on stones, or embroider or paint runes and sigils on your corset.

Since corsets shouldn’t be washed, Florida water, of Hoodoo and Zora Neale Hurston fame, can be dabbed on the inside seams that cover the boning to cleanse your corset psychically and to give it a nice scent.  Why those particular areas?  When applied to the inside seams that cover the boning, the Florida water won’t seep through to the front of the corset and potentially stain the material. (Thanks Ms. Finch!)

Corsets can also be used for self-bondage.  A wonderful self bondage/suspension substitution is to lace yourself into a corset (and for this you may lace a little tighter than for normal wear) and go swing on a high “big kid” swing at the park. You know, the ones that get really high into the air.

Just enjoy the moment.  Use it as a meditation or a private, sexual moment (or both).  Once you get high enough, lean back and just let your body fly through the air–only pumping enough to maintain your height.  When you’re done, you can use the gradually slowing motion to bring yourself back down to reality.

These folks hope that you all have a very fun Ostara and fuck like bunnies:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

 

 

Tie on that apron and flour up your bosom, Ms Kay!, Part 3

Does Ms. Kay wear granny panties or something more spicy?

You’re a dumpling, Ms. Kay!  One of my favorite things about Duck Dynasty is watching the interactions between Phil and his wife, Ms. Kay.  Phil is a horny old man and Ms. Kay is an equally horny old lady.  Phil seems to know every verse in the Bible that deals with husbands and wives having sex, which he quotes often to Ms. Kay when he’s in the mood.  He really likes Ms. Kay in the kitchen.

Notice the grammar error? Ms. Kay is married, not an unattached dumpling just rolling around in flour.

Phil has a thing for aprons, especially ones that have a little flour sprinkled on the bosom from baking and cooking.

On the show, both Phil and Ms. Kay instruct their grandchildren on the importance of aprons.  Phil advises his grandsons that a good girl to marry will be a country girl who carries her Bible and who cooks and wears an apron.  He tells them that if she’s a little messy and has flour on her apron, all the better.  Of course, he also tells them to marry a teenager, like he did.  That’s a little Jerry Lee Lewis, Phil!

Ms. Kay admonishes her granddaughters that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach and that nothing turns a man on more than for them to come home to supper cooking and to see you in an apron.  And, she adds, if you want to make sure that the man knows you mean business and your amorous intentions, you smear a little flour on your apron.  You’re such a dumpling, Ms. Kay!

It’s ok, Phil, I have a thing for aprons too.  I think they’re sexy and hot.  I like seeing girls in aprons, and I feel awesome when I wear one.  Sexy, lacy ones, homey ones, it doesn’t matter.  I can be sexy a French maid, a prairie Mormon girl, or Baron de Kalb’s camp follower just by putting on a different style of apron.  I feel focused, protected, and an object of affection when I wear my apron.  Aprons are wonderful because there are so many different styles; there’s always one that’s going to be flattering.

Aprons hold more than apples and sex appeal, they also hold a great deal of magic.  People have always known this.  Think of the Masons’ with their aprons.  From what I understand, everyone wears one at their meetings.  This magic easily extends to kitchen magic, the most obvious use of aprons in a ritual setting.  Wearing an apron can be a devotional act to your personal domestic deity.  Wearing an apron can also be seen as donning magical clothing for magical cooking.  If it’s just you, try adding things to your apron to aid you in your magic, like runes, symbolic patches, and charms.  If you have several people helping you, like with baking cakes for cakes and ale or with dinner for after ritual or at a festival, try having you and your helpers wear aprons whose colors correspond to the God and Goddess and the elements.  It adds a nice ritualistic element to what can be horrible drudgery.  It also helps to make everyone feel needed when there might really be too many cooks in the kitchen.

Of course, the same principles can be applied to gardening aprons for individual or group magical gardening projects and for cleaning projects.  Just as with the cooking aprons, symbols that will aid growth and planting, or in the case of cleaning, clearing, banishing and cleansing, can be added to the aprons.  A good garden apron might be green with lots of flowers or vegetables on it, and of course lots of pockets because aprons above all else need to be functional.  A good cleaning apron may be black for banishing clutter or red for fueling your desires to have a clean living area.  I want an apron that has a picture of that hottie Mr. Clean smiling up at me, like over my bosom or something.  All those muscles!

Aprons are very appropriate in typical ritual settings too.  Instead of wearing pouches or having a cluttered altar with all the little “tiny” tools that you need, like lighters and oil bottles and salt, etc, create a cool, funky apron with lots of pockets.  I saw the perfect example of this on this beautiful, sweet Valentino vamp in Mexico.  It was like a short skirt full of pockets that fastened with Velcro in the back that she wore over her jeans.  She used it like a purse.  It was awesome.  A cheap tool apron from the hardware store (or sometimes the dollar store has them) could easily be converted.  You can also add bells and jingles for dancing.

This is at the Museum of York County in South Carolina.

Ritual aprons can also be used like badge sashes if you’re in a coven or group that has different classes or levels.

This one belongs to Willow, a Strega.

They can be made of cloth or more like a Mason apron and made out of leather.

Keep your apron on for the next post where we discuss just what we’re going to do about Phil Robertson.

Heal me, Phil Robertson!

These folks like to eat dumplings:

Slender, Sexy Switches Class at the Loft NC,  March 30, 2014 presented by me!  https://fetlife.com/groups/63797/group_posts/4463882  http://www.loftnc.com/splash.php

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF!

This was posted on Facebook by Church Militant.  I liked it because it’s true.  I’ve seen a lot of bitching this year on Facebook by Pagans bemoaning all the commercialism attached to Valentine’s Day and the fact that they feel left out because they did not properly budget for this year.  Those aren’t really their words, but that’s the basic gist.  What they said was “Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan.”  If you’re a Pagan, you really shouldn’t care about celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Instead, you should be focused on celebrating Lupercalia!  All you need to do on Lupercalia is fuck and fuck and fuck some more!  If you’re really going to be fun, get out your play toys and beat some fertility into each other.  Which brings us to the lovely Aphrodite, one of the patronesses here at the Barbed Pentacle.

Evidently, Cupid is a very bad boy and Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF, at least according to classical art.

This picture is like a reverse pinata–blindfold the kid and beat him with a stick.

The greeting card companies never market cards with Cupid on it that say, “Pray that Cupid isn’t mischievous this year and sets you up with a psychopath” because that’s one of the fucked up things that Cupid likes to do for fun.

Often Ares or Mars, Aphrodite’s long-time lover, gets in on the action.

Sometimes, though, Aphrodite and Cupid gang-up on Ares.

It’s like if Rapunzel were in to flagellation! Ares looks like he’s smiling.

However, the MILF always gets what she deserves in the end.

The ways of exploring the relationship between Aphrodite, Cupid, and Ares are endless. If you want to go the S&M route, roses are a good choice to use as an implement, as are arrows.  Field arrows aren’t very expensive and offer lots of options.   The shaft can be used like a rod or cane on a willing sacrifice, the fletching is nice for tickling, and the point, well, it has all kinds of possibilities.  If Love hasn’t been kind to you, you can always beat it.  The ancients were fond of creating sculptures and such to represent deities and ideas.  If the harvest was poor or some sort of natural disaster occurred, the sculptural representative received the physical brunt of the supplicants’ displeasure.  There’s no reason not to continue this tradition.  At the very least, it’ll be fun and make you feel better.

What will I be doing for Lupercalia?  I’m going to wear red and let the Big Bad Wolf eat me up!

My theory is that the story of “Little Red Riding Hood” is a vague carry over from ancient Lupercalian celebrations.  I haven’t done any research toward substantiating my theory yet, but maybe one day.

Looking for something to read on Lupercalia?  Try Tonia Brown’s Devouring Milo.  I’ll admit, I haven’t gotten very far in the book yet because I’ve been thankfully too busy blessedly spreading my fingers as a sexy word whore, but what I read was fantastically gory.

http://www.amazon.com/Devouring-Milo-Tonia-Brown-ebook/dp/B00DWZYWKO

These folks know how to suck your titties:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

https://www.facebook.com/events/442022209256634/

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

 

 

Tie on that Apron and Flour Up Your Bosom, Ms. Kay, Part 2

In our last post it was established that Phil Robertson has some issues with homosexuals.  Supposedly, his issues come from his deep religious beliefs and the Bible, but I really suspect that they come from homo-erotic urges that he felt back when he frequented the football field and locker rooms.  I mean really, American Football is all about tight ends, tight pants, and smacking guys’ asses.  You can’t have your hands that close to a guy’s crotch to receive his ball and not feel something.

This is the Queen of Heaven.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like guns.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like to eat barbequed animals.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven have extremely healthy sex drives.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are Southerners from the Deep South.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are passionately devoted to their religious beliefs.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are men.  But the Queen of Heaven’s name is Wes.  He lives in Texas, owns guns, has a high profile job (more powerful in a lot of ways than Phil Robertson), comes from God’s chosen people, saves lives all the time for fun–in his spare time–with the EMS, and is a dedicated devotee to Hera, the Queen of Heaven.

In plain clothes at a BBQ joint, Phil Robertson and Wes in his EMS shirt would probably nod and exchange their “man smiles”, and chat randomly while they wait for their food.  They may even discuss their love for God and country.  But Phil Robertson wouldn’t speak nicely to Wes as the Queen of Heaven.  Instead Phil Robertson believes that the Queen of Heaven and other queens are “…full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant God-haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are truthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”  Yes, the Queen of Heaven and all the other homosexuals and sexual “sinners” in the world spend all their time trying to invent ways of doing evil (really?).  I don’t.  I spend all my time watching you blow up stuff on Duck Dynasty and pull your flour covered wife into the bedroom for your own sexual sins.  But, that’s for Part 3.  Watching Ms. Kay makes me crave dumplings.

Worship with the Queen of Heaven: http://nshrine.com/shrine/Heras_Queen_of_Heaven

These folks know that Phil Robertson believes that  ”“They committed indecent acts with one another, and they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversions.”:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Tie on that apron and flour up your bosom, Ms. Kay!: Part 1

I like Duck Dynasty.  I like their show.  I think they’re funny.  Despite what Phil said about gay people, despite my own sexual preferences and how I completely disagree with what he said, and despite how I find it a little disturbing how the Duck Dynasty folks are now the darlings of the GOP and Christian Right, I still like their show.  I even liked the episode where they set fire to the beaver dam.  If you haven’t seen the show, A&E has several episodes on their site: http://www.aetv.com/duck-dynasty/video?mkwid=sv8qQu8uW|dc_pcrid_36125531115_pkw_duck%20dynasty_pmt_e&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=duck%20dynasty&utm_campaign=G_Duck+Dynasty&paidlink=1&cmpid=PaidSearch_google_G_Duck+Dynasty_duck%20dynasty&gclid=CNLIn5O6t7wCFUYOOgod7A4AIw

Phil Robertson has a right to voice his opinion, and A&E has a right to fire his ass too.   Phil decided to take a risk and say something that he deeply believes despite the fact that he knew there would be a backlash.  I respect him for that even though I know he wouldn’t respect me as a kinky Pagan bisexual pornographer who believes in polyamory.

The Robertsons, according to the dialogue on their show, live in the West Monroe/Monroe, Louisiana area (http://www.westmonroe.com/).  From the evidence on Witchvox, there is a very small but growing Pagan community there.  There is a brand new meet-up that will be starting in Monroe, LA on Saturday: http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_ev.html?a=usla&id=90304.  Then there is this group in West Monroe, that from its profile seems to be fairly established: http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_gr.html?a=usla&id=38550.  And then there’s this group, that I really just can’t take seriously.  They’ll probably bring me up on charges to the vampire magistrate or some other such nonsense:  http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_gr.html?a=usla&id=39712.  If you’re Pagan and in the Monroe/West Monroe, LA, I invite you to check out the first two groups, especially the new meet-up.  Meet-ups are great places to go and feel things out.

These are photos from a local Christian book store:

So, what to do about Phil Robertson?  Stay tuned for why I really like Phil Robertson and my final solution to the Duck Dynasty problem.

These folks have a final solution for you:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/