Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF!

This was posted on Facebook by Church Militant.  I liked it because it’s true.  I’ve seen a lot of bitching this year on Facebook by Pagans bemoaning all the commercialism attached to Valentine’s Day and the fact that they feel left out because they did not properly budget for this year.  Those aren’t really their words, but that’s the basic gist.  What they said was “Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan.”  If you’re a Pagan, you really shouldn’t care about celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Instead, you should be focused on celebrating Lupercalia!  All you need to do on Lupercalia is fuck and fuck and fuck some more!  If you’re really going to be fun, get out your play toys and beat some fertility into each other.  Which brings us to the lovely Aphrodite, one of the patronesses here at the Barbed Pentacle.

Evidently, Cupid is a very bad boy and Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF, at least according to classical art.

This picture is like a reverse pinata–blindfold the kid and beat him with a stick.

The greeting card companies never market cards with Cupid on it that say, “Pray that Cupid isn’t mischievous this year and sets you up with a psychopath” because that’s one of the fucked up things that Cupid likes to do for fun.

Often Ares or Mars, Aphrodite’s long-time lover, gets in on the action.

Sometimes, though, Aphrodite and Cupid gang-up on Ares.

It’s like if Rapunzel were in to flagellation! Ares looks like he’s smiling.

However, the MILF always gets what she deserves in the end.

The ways of exploring the relationship between Aphrodite, Cupid, and Ares are endless. If you want to go the S&M route, roses are a good choice to use as an implement, as are arrows.  Field arrows aren’t very expensive and offer lots of options.   The shaft can be used like a rod or cane on a willing sacrifice, the fletching is nice for tickling, and the point, well, it has all kinds of possibilities.  If Love hasn’t been kind to you, you can always beat it.  The ancients were fond of creating sculptures and such to represent deities and ideas.  If the harvest was poor or some sort of natural disaster occurred, the sculptural representative received the physical brunt of the supplicants’ displeasure.  There’s no reason not to continue this tradition.  At the very least, it’ll be fun and make you feel better.

What will I be doing for Lupercalia?  I’m going to wear red and let the Big Bad Wolf eat me up!

My theory is that the story of “Little Red Riding Hood” is a vague carry over from ancient Lupercalian celebrations.  I haven’t done any research toward substantiating my theory yet, but maybe one day.

Looking for something to read on Lupercalia?  Try Tonia Brown’s Devouring Milo.  I’ll admit, I haven’t gotten very far in the book yet because I’ve been thankfully too busy blessedly spreading my fingers as a sexy word whore, but what I read was fantastically gory.

http://www.amazon.com/Devouring-Milo-Tonia-Brown-ebook/dp/B00DWZYWKO

These folks know how to suck your titties:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

https://www.facebook.com/events/442022209256634/

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

 

 

All I Want for Yule is a Werewolf and a Cat (and several other things….)

Since tomorrow is Black Friday, the traditional start of the mayhem of the gluttony of capitalism, we here at the Barbed Pentacle thought that we should join right in.  Presenting the Barbed Pentacle 2013 Yule Gift Giving Guide–everything you need to buy for all the unappreciative people in your life.  So, without further ado……..

Play Pretties

Mystic Artisans   The creative duo of Don and Toni were the winners of the “Just Smack Me!” spoon decorating contest.  http://barbedpentacle.com/2012/12/spoon-contest-winner/ All of Mystic Artisan’s items are one of a kind, moderately priced, and absolutely fucking mind-blowing.  They do custom work and sell already made items.  Looking for a keepsake or ritual item that will become an heirloom?  Talk to Tonie and Don! https://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans  Look for an anniversary interview with the pair soon.

Sacred Vessel Pottery  

Sacred Vessel Pottery creates utilitarian and decorative pieces for the home and ritual.  According to their Facebook page, “Our Wares are Created to Enhance the Spiritual Practices of All Paths & Religions.”

Work in Progress

For sacred tobacco use

They have a wide variety of pieces from the very small to the huge and magnificent at a variety of prices.   You can buy work already made or commission just the perfect piece. https://www.facebook.com/SacredVesselPottery

Quadrivium Supplies A past sponsor, Quadrivium Supplies is a seller of new and traditional Hoodoo, Voodoo, and other spell oils.  All oils are made from the highest grade materials at just the right Zodiac time and moon phase.  All oil recipes have been well researched and tested. The oils are perfect for candle magic, gris gris and poppet magic, or for just general annoiting.  Visit http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/ for a complete list of oils and ordering information.  Here’s a previous post about Quadrivium Supplies: http://barbedpentacle.com/2012/08/the-wonders-of-magical-oils-a-3-am-infomercial-barbed-pentacle-style/

Knotjokin Rope Floggers   Knotjokin Rope Floggers, a past sponsor, features a variety of extremely interesting rope implements for the experienced player or for light ritual use. To shop and order: http://www.etsy.com/shop/Knotjokin   Custom orders are also accepted.  Here’s a link to a previous post about Knotjokin Rope Floggers:  http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/02/damn-it-lupercus-im-knotjokin/

No Hide Floggers   No Hide Floggers are vegan-inspired floggers created from decorative duct tape.  Made by a Wiccan High Priestess, these pieces are suitable for both play and ritual. No Hide Floggers is a current sponsor.  Look for an interview with the proprietor soon.  For selection and ordering information: http://jinglepets-nohide.blogspot.com  Custom orders are also accepted.

Library and Media

Tonia Brown  Tonia Brown is an author who writes a mixture of zombie, horror, steam punk, and sex stories.  She is widely published and is becoming quite the recognizable lady!  She is also the host of the radio show “Tonia Time”.  https://www.facebook.com/ToniaTime?filter=1 For more information on all of her writing, her thoughts, projects, and her new releases, click on http://thebackseatwriter.blogspot.com/   To order her books, go to http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss_1?url=search-alias%3Daps&field-keywords=tonia%20brown&sprefix=tonia+b%2Caps&rh=i%3Aaps%2Ck%3Atonia%20brown  (It’s all there!)  Be on the look out for an upcoming review of Devouring Milo soon.   Dr. David Hillman Dr. Hillman, the bad boy of Academia and guest blogger, never disappoints and always has something salacious to say.  Non-fiction for the fiction lover, his easy-to-read style is perfect for anyone delving into the world research.  Don’t let his style fool you.  All of his books are chocked full of well researched, cutting edge material that will rock your world and completely change your way of thinking. Book review:  http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/02/christ-jesus-youre-leaking-titty-milk/
To purchase Dr. Hillman’s books, visit http://www.amazon.com  For more information on Dr. Hillman http://roninpub.com/orisin.html  Guest posts by Dr. Hillman  http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/02/damn-it-lupercus-im-knotjokin/    http://barbedpentacle.com/2012/11/who-has-priapism/

Lee Harrington and “Passion and Soul” Lee Harrington, nationally known author and lecturer on BDSM and alternative spirituality, has a variety of books on the market that make the perfect Yule present.  How to find them?  http://passionandsoul.com/author  Lee will also does personal workshops and sessions for your special someone.    Here’s the Barbed Pentacle’s review of Lee’s latest work: http://barbedpentacle.com/2012/11/tip-your-bootblack-a-review-of-playing-well-with-others/

 

It is done folks!  ”House of Oddities” has been premiered.  It’s now available online and will soon be available on DVD!  The film, a documentary about the Atrocity Exhibition in Pittsburg, PA, is a nice professionally produced and directed film.  If you are a collector and admirer of alternative art, this is the film for you.  For more information about the project http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/07/fuck-corporate-hollywood/  For information on purchasing the film http://barbedpentacle.com/2013/07/fuck-corporate-hollywood/

Other Books of Note from New Authors

Duchess Mackinnon Endless Night:  Sex and Vampires, Oh My!  A nice soft stroke story to carry with you in the airport as you travel this holiday season.  Nice and fun, you’ll still be able to read and enjoy it after you’ve had several cocktails or some tranqs to deal with your relatives.  Buy it at http://www.amazon.com/Endless-Night-Duchess-MacKinnon-ebook/dp/B00GACAVT2/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1385539004&sr=8-2&keywords=duchess+mackinnon    

Heather Morris “Italian Vocabulary from My Little Black Book”  This volume, from Barbed Pentacle fan Heather Morris, was created from her years of notes on Italian that she encountered in her magical work.  This book is perfect for anyone who has been mired down in Italian during their Stregan magical work or who wants to travel to Italia.  

To purchase  http://www.amazon.com/Italian-Vocabulary-Little-Black-Book-ebook/dp/B00FQQ1VJ2/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1385540247&sr=8-1&keywords=Italian+from+my+little+black+book

Wares from the Barbed Pentacle

Looking for just the right gift for the discerning friend, or just looking for a unique way to pamper yourself?  Then consider shopping at the Barbed Pentacle Cafe Press Store or commissioning a private piece for your own enjoyment.  Barbed Pentacle apparel can be found at http://www.cafepress.com/thebarbedpentacle

Treat yourself with your very own personalized stroke story:  http://barbedpentacle.com/sponsors-click-click-click-click-click/209-2/personalized-boudoir-stories/  

 

The Highest Compliment You Can Give Is Censorship

Yes, I’m still alive.  Yes, I’m still publishing salacious material that most countries would ban.  In case you cared (which knowing you, you probably didn’t), my Lammas to Mabon hiatus was due to being tied up in a corn field somewhere in the deep South watching all the sexy dove hunters sashay around in their camo, with their big guns and dead little birds.

This is Banned Book Week, probably my favorite week of the year.  If you’ve never heard of Banned Book Week, you’re the reason why it was created.

Chances are, whether you’ve done so consciously or not, you’ve probably read a banned book–especially if you read metaphysical/Pagan books.  If you’ve never checked out the Banned Book Week website, I encourage you to do so:   http://www.bannedbooksweek.org/.

Today we are also starting something fun, Woodman Wednesdays!  I think Francesca Woodman took some really provocative images, so each Wednesday I’ll share some.  It’ll be fun.

These folks read banned books (and some have even written them!):

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Come visit, shop, and order your Yule presents from Mystic Artisans at Piedmont Pagan Pride Day, Sept. 28, 2013, Charlotte, NC.  http://piedmontpaganpride.com/

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com  Check out Devouring Milo, Tonia’s newest work: http://www.amazon.com/Devouring-Milo-ebook/dp/B00DWZYWKO

 

A Moon Lit Twist

Esbats can be a drag.  If you worship by yourself, these are often the observances that fall by the wayside first–especially if you’re from the school that observes both the new and full moon.  If you’re from the school that believes that esbats occur only when there’s a need, then I’m sure that you’ve found that regardless of the need, there rarely seems to be time.  With groups, esbats can easily get a coven stuck in a rut.  While a certain consistent pattern of worship is comforting to most people, spice is what makes the ritual stick with you once the circle has been opened.

Tonia Brown, a fellow smut sister, has come up with a clever solution: Esbat the Novel.  In her recent blog post (http://thebackseatwriter.blogspot.com/?zx=bc7c15fb073d58fa), she describes how her worship group periodically combats the esbat doldrums.  The ideas presented, “Esbat the Musical” to her “Esbat the Novel,” should hopefully whet your creative edge when helping to plan your next esbat, whether it will be a solitary affair or a group affair, family friendly or strictly X-rated.

If you fall into the camp of often being too busy to take the time to do a full esbat on your own (which is a shame because the meaning of an esbat is so fluid and loose that you really have no excuse), then consider reading Tonia’s creation that she has posted.  It’s perfect for Wiccans on the go that need to perform a silent esbat during their lunch hour, while they’re stuck in line, or while they’re suppose to be working but they’re really playing on their cell phones.

And by the way, “Tonia Time” will air Saturday at 9 PM EST (just like it always does) on TMV Cafe: http://www.tmvcafe.com/.

These folks adore “lovely lady lumps”:

Mystic Artisans: https://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soul: http://passionandsoul.com/

Knotjokin Rope Floggers: http://www.knotjokin.etsy.com

Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

 

To Hunt the Cunt and Other Country Matters, Part 4: Don’t tan me like that!

Mood music as you read: Dark as a Dungeonhttp://chriseaglemusic.weebly.com/

http://www.amazon.com/Skin-Trade-ebook/dp/B007PCVFDC (really click this to look inside)

Trapping is a sensitive, divisive subject.  Most people either recoil when you talk about animal trapping (especially using traps that are not live traps), or people will vehemently defend their right to trap.  And to be honest, personally, I’m torn.  I am intimate with trapping, but I numb myself to the necessary grim reality of the practice to be able to continue my intimacy.

Most of the animals that are fur bearers in the United States are not eaten; they’re only harvested for their fur.  That’s not to say that some trappers don’t also eat the animal, but it’s not the norm.  Animals who are caught in traps are sometimes shot, but they are usually killed with a blow to the head  with a blunt object–like a baseball bat or an ax handle.  With skunks, the animal must first be hit in the middle of its back so that the spine is broken and it cannot spray the trapper before it’s finally killed.

Some traps are laid with bait, but some traps are simple hidden in high traffic areas (like on the way to a watering hole).  Because of this and the fact that the trapper has little control over which animal actually becomes trapped, trapping carries its own unique Karmic price.  If the trapper traps something, like a raccoon, that is edible and he or she decides to eat it, then karmically speaking, things aren’t so heavy because all the parts are being used.  If a trapper doesn’t use the meat, obviously there’s instant karmic ripples due to the waste.  There’s also the Karma of laying a trap that the animal has little choice about stepping into.  If the trap is in plain view, whether it’s baited or not, there’s still some choice in the matter.  If the trap is hidden under water or leaf litter (as is very common and is why most traps appear rusty) and it’s on a path that the animal would naturally follow, there’s no choice at all.  Also, one must consider the need of a warm pelt versus the want of a warm pelt.

So where does that leave us as Pagans.  Having a blanket statement of “trapping is wrong and should be made illegal” is not the answer.  Obviously, trapping goes against the Wiccan Rede, but not all Pagans follow the Rede, and it is rarely interpreted the same way twice.  Think about all the Pagans that like to have an Arctic fox tail tied to their asses at festivals and events.  Most of those tails came from animals on fur farms.  Are fur farms really any better than trapping?  Is it better to wear the tail of an animal from a fur farm as opposed to one given to you by a trapper?  Something to ponder for a future entry.

Prolific zombie, steampunk, weird West, and Pagan author, Tonia Brown, has taken on the issue of trapping in her novel Skin Trade, which was published earlier this year.  Skin Trade is set in the second half of the nineteenth century, after the Great Undead Uprising of 1870.  Once again our government has fucked up.  In an attempt to control Native American populations (a la small pox blankets), a virus has been introduced that has wiped out most of the Native American population and a good portion of the settlers in the West.  The Badlands are now zombie central, and the government and army have now allowed trappers into the area. Sounds a lot like how DNR is handling the coyote outbreak.

So what do you do with a trapped zombie?  You dispatch it, of course, and tan its hide.  Just like the Nazis and ancient grimoire makers, Americans now see zombie skin as a fine luxury item.

Some may read this story simply as a good weird West or zombie story.  Others may read this as a story about a troubled girl coming into womanhood in uncertain times and draw all kinds of parallels between today’s young ladies and Samantha Martin.  I, however, see this as a story about a little whore being faced with yet another unpleasant side of humanity, and having to deal with the fact that she wishes she had a penis a majority of the time.  Freud, you have it all wrong.  Penis envy occurs when you need to aim urine into a trap, and you’re tired of always having to spread your legs.

If you’re even vaguely interested in trapping and the humanity behind it, then join Tonia Brown’s ragtag team of little whores, ex-slaves, milk sops, and sadistic tyrants on a fast paced romp through the Badlands in Skin Trade.  (Oh, and there’s a goat in there too!)

Be a good reader and get trapped into clicking on these fine folks’ links:

Quadrivium Supplies  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com

Erotic Sensations http://eroticsensations.us/

Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

Labor Day Libertine http://ldl.tribussolvo.org/home
The Geeky Kink Event http://thegeekykinkevent.com/

 

 

 

 

Squeeze My Melons and Plow My Furrow, Part 5: What Zombies Like to Eat

Zombies like to eat people, and not in the same why that I like to eat people.  They like to eat fresh, live people. According to Wiccan author Tonia Brown, who has made a name for herself in the horror, zombie, steam punk, and smut genres, zombies will also eat other live animals.  The key word here, though, is live.
Zombies historically have been cannibals.  As humans, we have a deep aversion to cannibalism, even when it’s done for absolute survival and the cannibalized person died of natural causes.  Why is this?  Is it because if we engage in cannibalism then we give in to our primal selves and become more animal-like than human-like?  Other animals engage in cannibalism, why shouldn’t we?

There are many cultures around the world that engage in different forms of cannibalism, from straight up killing your neighbor and putting him on the grill, to eating a dead monk’s brain to ingest his knowledge, to smoking a cremated relative’s ashes.  On a recent episode of Shameless, Frank and Monica smoked Grammy Gallagher’s cremated remains.

I’ve smoked remains before, as well as eaten them in brownies and drank them in Cuba Libres.  It’s a little gritty, on a lot of different levels, but considering all the things they do with cremated remains now (even packing them into empty ammo casings), it’s really not that odd.  What better way to honor a dead friend than to make them part of your body and engage in some sorta legal cannibalism?


Moral discussions about cannibalism, as well as the usual quest for food, is an all consuming drive in Tonia Brown’s new novel, Bad Ass Zombie Road Trip.

The novel is about two guys, Dale and Jonah , who fancy themselves musicians. On the way to a gig, things pretty much go to Hell in a beat up Ford Focus on the side of an interstate in California. Anyone who has been to or lived in California knows that the interstates there are Hell, so it should come as no surprise that the handsome devil Lucifer is roaming the asphalt. In a series of unfortunate, profanity laden events, things go from bad to worse as Jonah is swallowed up by a whale of a situation. The boys end up on a cross-country race against the clock to recover the most precious thing that Dale possesses (and it’s not his penis). Along the way, the boys learn that it’s almost impossible to outwit the Devil, they pick up a stripper named Candy, and they learn about the weird toilet phenomena that happens when a zombie eats human food.

This is a perfect electronic read for your spring break beach adventure or your summer road trip to visit the numerous over-priced Pagan festivals that are being planned as you read this review. Its light, raunchy prose will keep you amused and slightly aroused for hours on in while you bake yourself in the sand and sun or pretend to be interested in some over-hyped Pagan expert that charges several hundred dollars an hour to tell you how wiping your ass is no longer healthy and that Gaea doesn’t approve of Charmin toilet paper.

The only negative thing that I have to say about this novel is that Candy does not come across as a genuine Carolina girl. If she were really from the Carolinas then she would never have told the boys that to people who live on the board between North and South Carolina, that it doesn’t really matter which state you say you’re from. Yes it does Candy! It matters a great deal! As someone who has lived in both Carolinas, you learn from an early age that each state thinks it’s better than the other one. To people in South Carolina, everyone from North Carolina is in-bred and a redneck. To people in North Carolina, everyone in South Carolina is a snob and a crook. They’re very different places, Miss Candy. How about you don’t get caught in the rain and melt as you try to decided which Carolina you’re from, sugar foot!

For more information on real zombies, check out Zora Neale Hurston’s Tell My Horse. To purchase a copy of Bad Ass Zombie Road Trip visit: http://www.amazon.com/Badass-Zombie-Road-Trip-ebook/dp/B006ZAJ4M4.

Check out these awesome folks:
Sub-shop.com   http://bit.ly/subshop
Tonia Brown  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Hard At Work

I’ve been hard at work on some really interesting, titillating, gritty blogs.  However, I need your help!  I am looking to interview the following people:

  • Hunters
  • Fur Fetishists (either it turns you on or you wear a fox tail hanging off your ass at Pagan festivals)
  • Brewers
  • Wine Makers
  • Mead Makers
  • Moonshiners (or more legally, distillers)
  • Renegade gardeners
  • Squatters
  • Folks who have their Red Wings (and not the boots)
If you are one of these people, and you’d like to be interviewed for an upcoming blog, please email me at chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com.  Remember, you can use an alias or be anonymous.
I’ve got some great future entries in the works.  Coming Tuesday will be the Ostara Egg blog.  After that there will be a review of Tonia Brown’s new summer read, “Bad Ass Zombie Road Trip“, as well as a review of the DYI sex toy site.  I’ll be finishing up my series on food soon and moving on to a series about Aqua Vitae.  I’m also working on an entry about hair and playing with clamps and clips.  Look for all that soon.
Make sure that you enter for this month’s giveaway!  The details are at the bottom of the page.  Next month’s giveaway will only be open to people are public followers of the blog, so make sure you join NOW!  The giveaway is being sponsored by our good friends at Sub-Shop.  Make sure you check out their page and buy something nice.
If you’re looking to connect with the blog socially, make sure you check out the social networking entry.