Who Has Priapism?

This is a guest blog by Dr. David Hillman, who is the author of  The Chemical Muse: Drug Use and the Roots of Western Civilization (St. Martin’s, 2008) and Original Sin: Ritual Child Rape and the Church (Ronin, 2012).  He has a lot of varied interests, getting censored and pissing off the Vatican makes him hard, and he’s probably cooler than the person sitting next to you right now.  Check his books out–they’ll blow your mind.   

Many of you out there practicing variations of BDSM are showing a renewed interest in combining sex, religious worship and Greco-Roman gods.  This is thrilling because you have hit upon a deep vein of cultural gold that springs from the ancient world; through your unique sexual practices, you are acquiring a deeper knowledge of ancient cult, far deeper than what is perceived in modern universities and colleges that boast Classics and Ancient History departments.  You are the real investigators, and you are finding Aphrodite, Pan and Priapus in a way that only their ancient followers could.  You may not know it, but you are about to hit the mother lode.

Just one example: let’s talk about Priapus.  Who is Priapus? 

Any prudish, missionary-style adhering, modern scholar would tell you we don’t know much about his cult.  That’s because they refuse–even today–to study the large body of poetry associated with the worship of the god with the three-foot erection.  That’s right; walking around Italy in antiquity meant you would see lots of publicly displayed statues of this god, all of which were adorned with a large, angry erection–with a particularly bulbous and intimidating glans. In one wall painting that survived the disaster at Pompeii, Priapus is pictured weighing his hefty penis in a balance; the other side of the scale contains a large bag of fruit.  Young girls passing these statues would rub the penis for good luck in getting pregnant. 

So what did Priapus do with his huge erection that never went away?  He used it.  But he didn’t just use it like any other divinity uses his or her genitalia.  No, Priapus’ penis was a weapon.  You see, Priapus was the god of the Cosmic Garden.  He was a “watcher” who protected the fruit of life from thieves and anyone unwilling to acknowledge a divine or natural order to the universe; in short, he prosecuted anyone unwilling to venerate the goddess Nature.  The Greeks and Romans called this sort of person the “god-fighter” or the “atheist.”  Yes, the first time the term “atheist” enters into our Western vocabulary it was used to denote the Christians, who refused to honor the gods….particularly Mother Nature.  So who is the enforcer?  You guessed it, Priapus.  And what did the god do to violators of Nature?  He fucked them in the ass–and that’s a literal translation of the Latin. 

Yes, Priapus was all about chasing down anyone disrespecting of the gods–those who absconded with the fruit of his garden–and fucking them in the ass.  The whole process of Priapus’ justice is nothing but terrifying.  Priapus chases down the ungodly, and does things that they would never willingly want done….unlesss…

And what did the priestesses of Priapus do? 

Well, we know from Petronius, the Roman poet, that they used his statues in sacred, women-only ceremonies to apply drugs vaginally.  And we know these drugs were able to soften the cervix and induce abortion.  And we know it was pleasurably painful enough to put the priestesses into an orgasm-induced state of oracular ecstasy. 

So I applaud you BDSM practicing folks.  Keep it up!  And remember, you are just resurrecting rites long established by the very people who invented science, free speech and democracy.  Let me leave you with some sayings right out of the mouth of Priapus.  They were beautifully translated from the Latin by Sir Richard Burton in the 19th century:

“Take heed lest thou art caught.  If I do seize thee…thou shalt be so stretched that thou wilt think thy anus never had any wrinkles.”

“I will seize thee, and when thou art caught my girl, I will enjoy thee.  And the whole of this, large though it be, and stiffer than twisted cord, than the string of the lyre, I will surely bury in thee to thy seventh rib.”

“The greatest advantage in my penis is this, that no woman can be too roomy for me.”

“So long as thou snatchest nothing from me with audacious hand,
thou mayest be chaster than Vesta herself.
But, if thou dost, these belly-weapons of mine will so
stretch thee that thou wilt be able to slip through thy own anus.”

Check out Dr. Hillman’s books: The Chemical Muse: Drug Use and the Roots of Western Civilization http://www.amazon.com/The-Chemical-Muse-Western-Civilization/dp/B00342VG0E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1352693224&sr=8-1&keywords=the+chemical+muse   

 Original Sin: Ritual Child Rape and the Church   http://www.amazon.com/Original-Sin-Sex-Drugs-Church/dp/1579511449/ref=sr_1_fkmr1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1352693399&sr=1-2-fkmr1&keywords=Original+Sin%3A+Ritual+Child+Rape+and+the+Church

These folks know how to loosen up for Priapus:

Passion And Soul: http://passionandsoul.com/

Knotjokin Rope Floggers: http://www.knotjokin.etsy.com

Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

Just Smack Me!: http://barbedpentacle.com/just-smack-me-a-wooden-spoon-decorating-contest/