Tie on that Apron and Flour Up Your Bosom, Ms. Kay, Part 2

In our last post it was established that Phil Robertson has some issues with homosexuals.  Supposedly, his issues come from his deep religious beliefs and the Bible, but I really suspect that they come from homo-erotic urges that he felt back when he frequented the football field and locker rooms.  I mean really, American Football is all about tight ends, tight pants, and smacking guys’ asses.  You can’t have your hands that close to a guy’s crotch to receive his ball and not feel something.

This is the Queen of Heaven.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like guns.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like to eat barbequed animals.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven have extremely healthy sex drives.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are Southerners from the Deep South.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are passionately devoted to their religious beliefs.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are men.  But the Queen of Heaven’s name is Wes.  He lives in Texas, owns guns, has a high profile job (more powerful in a lot of ways than Phil Robertson), comes from God’s chosen people, saves lives all the time for fun–in his spare time–with the EMS, and is a dedicated devotee to Hera, the Queen of Heaven.

In plain clothes at a BBQ joint, Phil Robertson and Wes in his EMS shirt would probably nod and exchange their “man smiles”, and chat randomly while they wait for their food.  They may even discuss their love for God and country.  But Phil Robertson wouldn’t speak nicely to Wes as the Queen of Heaven.  Instead Phil Robertson believes that the Queen of Heaven and other queens are “…full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant God-haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are truthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”  Yes, the Queen of Heaven and all the other homosexuals and sexual “sinners” in the world spend all their time trying to invent ways of doing evil (really?).  I don’t.  I spend all my time watching you blow up stuff on Duck Dynasty and pull your flour covered wife into the bedroom for your own sexual sins.  But, that’s for Part 3.  Watching Ms. Kay makes me crave dumplings.

Worship with the Queen of Heaven: http://nshrine.com/shrine/Heras_Queen_of_Heaven

These folks know that Phil Robertson believes that  ”“They committed indecent acts with one another, and they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversions.”:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Tie on that apron and flour up your bosom, Ms. Kay!: Part 1

I like Duck Dynasty.  I like their show.  I think they’re funny.  Despite what Phil said about gay people, despite my own sexual preferences and how I completely disagree with what he said, and despite how I find it a little disturbing how the Duck Dynasty folks are now the darlings of the GOP and Christian Right, I still like their show.  I even liked the episode where they set fire to the beaver dam.  If you haven’t seen the show, A&E has several episodes on their site: http://www.aetv.com/duck-dynasty/video?mkwid=sv8qQu8uW|dc_pcrid_36125531115_pkw_duck%20dynasty_pmt_e&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_term=duck%20dynasty&utm_campaign=G_Duck+Dynasty&paidlink=1&cmpid=PaidSearch_google_G_Duck+Dynasty_duck%20dynasty&gclid=CNLIn5O6t7wCFUYOOgod7A4AIw

Phil Robertson has a right to voice his opinion, and A&E has a right to fire his ass too.   Phil decided to take a risk and say something that he deeply believes despite the fact that he knew there would be a backlash.  I respect him for that even though I know he wouldn’t respect me as a kinky Pagan bisexual pornographer who believes in polyamory.

The Robertsons, according to the dialogue on their show, live in the West Monroe/Monroe, Louisiana area (http://www.westmonroe.com/).  From the evidence on Witchvox, there is a very small but growing Pagan community there.  There is a brand new meet-up that will be starting in Monroe, LA on Saturday: http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_ev.html?a=usla&id=90304.  Then there is this group in West Monroe, that from its profile seems to be fairly established: http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_gr.html?a=usla&id=38550.  And then there’s this group, that I really just can’t take seriously.  They’ll probably bring me up on charges to the vampire magistrate or some other such nonsense:  http://www.witchvox.com/vn/vn_detail/dt_gr.html?a=usla&id=39712.  If you’re Pagan and in the Monroe/West Monroe, LA, I invite you to check out the first two groups, especially the new meet-up.  Meet-ups are great places to go and feel things out.

These are photos from a local Christian book store:

So, what to do about Phil Robertson?  Stay tuned for why I really like Phil Robertson and my final solution to the Duck Dynasty problem.

These folks have a final solution for you:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/