Tie on that Apron and Flour Up Your Bosom, Ms. Kay, Part 2

In our last post it was established that Phil Robertson has some issues with homosexuals.  Supposedly, his issues come from his deep religious beliefs and the Bible, but I really suspect that they come from homo-erotic urges that he felt back when he frequented the football field and locker rooms.  I mean really, American Football is all about tight ends, tight pants, and smacking guys’ asses.  You can’t have your hands that close to a guy’s crotch to receive his ball and not feel something.

This is the Queen of Heaven.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like guns.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven like to eat barbequed animals.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven have extremely healthy sex drives.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are Southerners from the Deep South.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are passionately devoted to their religious beliefs.  Both Phil Robertson and the Queen of Heaven are men.  But the Queen of Heaven’s name is Wes.  He lives in Texas, owns guns, has a high profile job (more powerful in a lot of ways than Phil Robertson), comes from God’s chosen people, saves lives all the time for fun–in his spare time–with the EMS, and is a dedicated devotee to Hera, the Queen of Heaven.

In plain clothes at a BBQ joint, Phil Robertson and Wes in his EMS shirt would probably nod and exchange their “man smiles”, and chat randomly while they wait for their food.  They may even discuss their love for God and country.  But Phil Robertson wouldn’t speak nicely to Wes as the Queen of Heaven.  Instead Phil Robertson believes that the Queen of Heaven and other queens are “…full of murder, envy, strife, hatred. They are insolent, arrogant God-haters. They are heartless. They are faithless. They are senseless. They are truthless. They invent ways of doing evil.”  Yes, the Queen of Heaven and all the other homosexuals and sexual “sinners” in the world spend all their time trying to invent ways of doing evil (really?).  I don’t.  I spend all my time watching you blow up stuff on Duck Dynasty and pull your flour covered wife into the bedroom for your own sexual sins.  But, that’s for Part 3.  Watching Ms. Kay makes me crave dumplings.

Worship with the Queen of Heaven: http://nshrine.com/shrine/Heras_Queen_of_Heaven

These folks know that Phil Robertson believes that  ”“They committed indecent acts with one another, and they received in themselves the due penalty for their perversions.”:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com

Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/

Art, Passion, and Heart Told Tales

Magaly’s having another party!  Come see who all is attending: http://pagan-culture.blogspot.com/2012/06/art-passion-and-heart-told-tales.html.
Click here for my contribution, “Mattress Burn.”  Have fun!
These folks know all about some mattress burns!
Erotic Sensations http://eroticsensations.us/

Misdemeanors at the Altar: 2nd blog for The Pagan Values Blogject

I don’t believe that Wiccan clergy in particular, and Pagan clergy in general, should have set fees for their services. I think love offerings are wonderful if the person receiving a service wants to offer one, and I think that within reason now that gas prices are exorbitant, it’s acceptable to ask for a little bit of money for gas if you have to drive farther than 30 miles or so.
Why am I opposed to clergy asking for payment? For one thing, being a priest or a priestess is a calling that should not under any circumstances hinge on being paid. If you’ve truly have been called to be clergy, then the thought of posting a fee schedule is probably abhorrent. Religion is not a business. The other reason why I’m very much opposed to clergy asking for money for their services is that the vast majority of Pagan clergy do not have any sort of divinity degree. They’re not professionals, although they should always strive to act in a professional manner. If, for example, a priest/priestess has a divinity degree from an accredited institution (which Cherry Hill Seminary, unfortunately, is not yet), then I can maybe see a small stipend being offered to the person by the organization that they serve. But the bottom line is that living off of those that you serve is wrong.
Many Wiccans, and to a certain extend some Pagans, tend to follow only one rule when it comes to morals: “‘An it harm none, do as thou will.” While this seems like a simple enough thing to comprehend on the surface, it’s an extremely complicated and complex notion. I’ve noticed that a lot of Wiccans do not apply the Wiccan Rede to their treatment of Pagan clergy, and maybe it’s because payment is usually not requested.
If a clergy person is down to earth and ethical, I’ve noticed that many Pagans feel that they can walk all over them. They treat their clergy in a way that they would have never treated their Christian clergy (yes, I did just make that sweeping statement because it’s a statistical fact that a majority of the Pagans in America were previously Christian). If a clergy person is aloof, haughty, and unethical, then an undeserved respect seems to be bestowed upon them. Maybe it’s because the person just expects respect instead of working to deserve it. I guess it works along the lines that if two items are placed side by side, one of inferior quality and one of excellent quality, and the inferior one is priced higher than the good quality one, the inferior product almost always sells out before the low priced, good quality product does.
As a priestess, the most common form of disrespect that I’ve encountered is people contacting me for services–usually a handfasting–and then jilting me at the altar after I’ve done a lot of work on their behalves. Sometimes I’ve already gotten handfastingcords to them and rearranged my schedule when I’m notified that my services are no longer needed. The quotes below are from actual emails that I’ve received.  Unfortunately, the quotes below are only a sampling.  I could publish a small book full of the jilted altar emails that I’ve received.  If you see a quote from an email that you’ve sent me, then I hope you’re suitably embarrassed and that it rained during your handfasting ceremony.
Before we continue, I want to make it clear that none of these emails are from people that are members of my religious organizations. The type of disrespect that I’ve received from them is usually more along the lines of what you expect from rude teenagers whose mommas didn’t beat them enough when they were growing up. It’s nothing that half an hour on my X-beam wouldn’t fix!  

(Names have been changed.)
“Hey! I am interested in talking to you about doing a handfasting/wedding type ceremony for us, we live in ++++++ near ++++++ and would come to the mountains preferrably. Please email me back a # or contact me via call or txt at +++++++.
Thank You!!
“Dear Tommy, What day, time, and location were you thinking about? I’m about 30 minutes from you. Did you want just a priestess or did you want a ceremony with a priest and a priestess.
Sparrow Brown”
“Hey Sparrow! Thank you for getting back with me, i didnt know it but a friend of mine who is Wiccan is ordained and said she would do the ceremony for us. It will be cool having her do it since i’ve known her for years. We are excited about it too!
Thanks again for getting back to me.
********************************************************************************* “Hello Sparrow, 
 My name is Christine. My fiance and I are planning a handfasting ceremony for July 14 in +++++++++. We live in ++++++ and own a piece of property in +++++++ and that is where we are planning on having the ceremony. Do your travel to +++++++ to preform ceremonies and are you available on July 14 of this year? We have just started looking for someone that would be able to preform the ceremony. 
 I look forward to hearing back from you, 
 ”Dear Christine I am available. Do you want just me, or would you like to have a priest present too? 
 Sparrow Brown” 
 ”Hi Sparrow, 
 Do you do legally recognized hand fasting ceremonies? We really only wanted to have one officiator present. How much do you charge to preform the ceremony? You are welcome to call me so that we can go over the details, my number is +++++++. 
 I look forward to hearing from you, 
 ”I am legal in the state of NC. In order to make it legal, you’ll need to get a marriage certificate from the county where the “wedding” is going to be held (++++++ Co.). The state doesn’t care what form the ceremony takes, as long as all the paper work is filled out and they get their money. I don’t charge anything for performing rituals, but if you feel lead to give a love offering, the money will be split between +++++++++ organization and +++++++++ organization. What time of day is good for calling? 
 ”Hi Sparrow, 
 So what you are saying is that I will need to get a marriage license and marriage certificate from +++++++ County? The license is obtained prior to the ceremony and the certificate is filled out after the ceremony and submitted to the County, is that correct? I am available by phone all day on Tuesdays, Thursdays, Saturdays and Sundays. On Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays I am available after 6:00 PM. The exception to today is that I have an appointment at 4:00 this afternoon for about an hour. I look forward to hearing from you. Blessings, 
 ”Yes, that is correct. You and your fiance obtain the paper work from +++++++ County and pay them approximately $60, and then after the ceremony, I’ll fill out the paper work and you, your new husband, and two witnesses will sign it. And then you or me (it doesn’t matter which one) has about a month to turn it to make it legal. NC doesn’t have any waiting periods, so you could get the paper work Friday before the ceremony. I would just call to double check to make sure the county offices are going to be open. I don’t know about ++++++ County, but some counties only accept cash. This should help answer some of your questions: http://www.+++++++++ I’ll give you a call tomorrow afternoon, and we’ll get started hammering out the details. 
 ”Hi Sparrow, I just wanted to let tell you a little bit about what is going on on my end. About 4 weeks ago I contacted someone and asked if she would do our handfasting ceremony. She said yes and I reserved the date with her. She said that she would E-mail me some paperwork within a couple of days. After about 10 days she sent me another E-mail saying that she was really busy and would send me the information that afternoon. That was 3 weeks ago and I have not heard from her since. I called and E-mailed her a couple of times with no response. Last weekend I decided to start looking for someone else and that is when I contacted you. I contacted 10 people in total last weekend. I was a little nervous to put all of my eggs in one basket again and still not have an officiator for our ceremony. I have mailed the invitations, ordered the flowers and the food, so I was getting quite nervous about not having someone confirmed. So that brings me to now and I sorry to tell you that we have decided to go with someone else as officiator. Thank you for your responses to me, I really appreciate it.
 (A side note: I had switched things around in my schedule for this her.  I also did call her when I said that I would, and I received her voice mail.  This email arrived three days after I called.) 

*********************************************************************************”Hello Sparrow!
My fiance and I have been together for 8 years, we are looking to make it official tomorrow. There is so much more to this story but seeing as we’re short on time I have to skip it for now. It would mean so much to us if we could marry on Halloween. We’re not doing anything fancy, friends will be present, but we could come to you if it would be easier. Please let me know if you can help! 
Thank you,
 p.s. we’re in ++++++++++ nc, originally from ++++++++, we moved here at the start of the year” (Because of the Samhain holiday, I did not get this email until 3 days after they wanted their handfasting.) ********************************************************************************* 
I’ve talked to clergy people of other faiths, and they report that they do not generally have this problem.  The people that I talked to say that it’s not uncommon for couples to postpone a ceremony due to cold feet or to completely call off an engagement.  Some of these clergy people have a set fee, but most of them don’t, but accept love offerings, some of which gets personally pocketed and some of which gets turned in to their religious organization.  So, since many of the clergy folks of different faiths I’ve spoken to do not charge a fee, I’m inclined to think that it’s just Pagans behaving badly and being unappreciative and rude.  That’s really sad and unacceptable if we want to be taken seriously by the rest of the world.

May You Never Thirst, Part 1: Dark, Sweet, and Hot!

This is the beginning of a whole new series.  The last series was mainly about food; this series is mainly about drinks.  If you’re a Pagan mead brewer, or just a regular person who makes mead, please email me: chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com.
By the way, if you’re a photographer, and you’re worried about your photos being used without your permission on the Internet, then don’t put the fucking picture on the Net or at the very least, water mark the bitch!
By Mistress Marmot

Espresso, percolators, French presses, K-cups, instant and good ol’ plain drip coffee. Nothing wakes you up like a cup o’ joe. And whether you make it yourself or have a local coffee shop employee to make it for you, it provides a sense of comfort akin to Mom’s chicken soup or warm chocolate chip cookies.

I’m a career barista (as in, yes, I do this for a living) at a major well-known coffee shop chain. I started working with coffee after I developed a severe daily habit for expensive lattes and the sort. Working 80 hours a week means that coffee is with you most of your day. Eventually the people at my local shop offered me a job and as it turned out, the benefits were better than what I was getting as a bank teller. Seven years later I’m still schlepping caffeine and still enjoying it. The term baristais Italian in essence, it basically means “bar person” in reference to the Italian custom of having coffee bars. So, your local coffee shop girl is your all day bartender! I could talk all day about the training, finer points and skill set of a barista, but let’s just cover the basics of brewing a great coffee at home.

I’ve got quite a few tips for you in order to perfect your coffee at home. The 4 major aspects of a good cup of coffee are freshness, water, grind and temperature. If you can buy your beans whole and grind at home or grind at the point of purchase, I HIGHLY recommend it. While pre-ground freshness techniques have improved in recent years, grinding as close to the time of brewing is best. And, this will blow your mind: DO NOT PUT YOUR COFFEE IN THE FRIDGE OR FREEZER. “Why?! My grandma always did!” You might exclaim. Your grandma also thinks that black people belong at the back of the bus, that doesn’t mean she’s right. Not only will your coffee absorb odors and pick up unsavory tastes from your fridge, but anytime you open your cold coffee in a warmer room, you invite condensation to accumulate within your coffee container. That moisture settles into the ground coffee and undoes the roasting process. Ideally, put your freshly ground coffee in an airtight container or large Ziploc bag and store in a cupboard. While your prime freshness window is one week from time of grind, you probably won’t notice a severe decline in taste for at least a month. You want your coffee fresh and dry for the next step of brewing.

As much of a pain in the ass as it seems, use filtered or pre-boiled water whenever possible. Slight minerals that you might be accustomed to in your drinking water can have an adverse affect on the natural oils in your coffee. If you are not using a commercial coffee maker, invest in a candy thermometer and make sure that your water is approximately 180-200 degrees before you introduce it to the coffee. What your preferred brewing method is will also determine how fine of a grind you should have for your coffee. Here is a rough breakdown of how fine or course you should have your beans ground based on your coffee maker.
French Presses and percolators need as coarse of a grind as is possible.
A flat bottom metal or paper filter (typical basket style) needs a medium grind. This has the highest surface ratio and therefore it is better if the water passes through the coffee a little bit faster.
Cone-shaped filters will take a slightly finer grind than a flat bottom. This is so that the water sits in the cone longer since there is less surface area.
Espresso machines require a fine grind so that the machine is able to compress the coffee into pucks for the extraction process. Espresso is a concentrated shot that is force brewed quickly.
The finest grind (which may not always be available in some grocery stores) is for Turkish pots. It is extremely fine, almost a powder.

Now that you know how to make a tasty cup, now you can enforce getting it perfectly made everyday! Many BDSM relationships have little customs, rituals or schedules that provide much-needed structure for some submissives. Every person takes their coffee a specific way and nothing says dedication like knowing just how much cream and sugar should go in Master or Mistress’ mug in the morning. And nothing says fun like learning from the mistakes during the process!

Even spilling on the floor is fine, as long as a bare-ass pointed up in the air being hit with a serving spoon while they clean it up provides enjoyment for the whole gang. Along with that, coffee can be used in sleep deprivation scenes or in coffee enemas. Plus, used grounds can be made into facial masks as part of a beauty regime with pampering. Many stores sell fun accessories like serving trays as well. Imagine having your slave prance into your bedroom, the perfect cup of steaming coffee delicately balanced on it. What a way to start your morning, right?


Personally, my favorite aspect of coffee is the serving! I spend all day serving it to the public as my job, and I’ll be damned if I will go home just to do it all again. Nothing says comfort like coming home to some Nina Simone songs, kicking off my shoes, stretching out and having a scantily clad boy bring ME a hot cup of java.

These folks love coffee too:
Erotic Sensations: http://eroticsensations.us/
Tonia Brown: www.thebackseatwriter.com

Melt Me!: Hot Wax Rituals, Giveaways, and Product Reviews

It’s time for a new round of giveaways and drawings.   This time there will be two, yes two, drawings.
First Drawing (April 13-May 13)
This drawing is open to anyone who is a PUBLIC follower of “The Barbed Pentacle” by May 13.  All of the names of my public followers will be placed into a hat, and someone other than myself will drawing out the lucky name.  If your name is drawn, you will win the Barbed Pentacle prize pack that includes a small strap from Sub-shop.com (perfect for discretion while traveling), and two wax play pillars, in Barbed Pentacle colors, from Erotic Sensations.
Second Drawing (April 13-May13)
This drawing is opened to any who contacts me via Facebook, Twitter, or Google+, or who emails me at chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com.  All you have to say is “enter me in the drawing”.  Click here for links.  The winner of this drawing will win a fabulous prize pack of hot pink, royal blue, and yellow pillar candles from  Erotic Sensations.

Erotic Sensations candles are really wonderful.  I product tested one, and I have to say, they blow dollar store candles out of the water.  The candle melts quickly, the wax is soft and velvety, and they are almost smokeless.  There was some slight redness left on my skin after play, but it dissipated with in a minute or two.  No burns at all!

What should you do with the candles that you win?  Add them to your rituals!  A whole section on Hot Wax Rituals  has been added to the BDSM ritual section.  Just scroll down until you get to Johnny Cash.  Happy waxing!

These folks wax before they ride:
Erotic Sensations eroticsensations.us
Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

Click, click, click.click……..

In case you’ve been oblivious while you’ve been perusing my blog, there’s a series of graphics to the right of this post.  If you click them, they take you to some really wonderful places.  Some of these sites have really cool things for sell, and some of them just have really cool things to read.  Regardless, please take a few minutes and look around, and as Boomhauer says, “Click, click, click, click, click.”  Happy clicking!

Blessed Be Thy Feet, Part 6: Martina’s Story

    “Some of the trails are rugged and rocky, and I am probably saddled with a backpack full of bottled water, lunch items, and maybe campfire wood.  I am usually tethered to one of the horses with a hemp rope around my waist, so it’s necessary to keep pace with the horses.”
      For Martina, this is just another adventure in the woods with her Mistress.  Martina is a Nature Pagan, submissive, and full time barefooter.  ”It can become quite an ordeal to endure for several hours on the trails.  But it’s another way we use and experience nature and natural things in our activities.”
      Martina goes barefoot full time, in all terrain and weather.  ”I go barefoot….about everywhere really.  It keeps me grounded and allows me to draw energy from the earth.  It also makes me feel more at one with nature.”
     ”I always watch out for snakes when hiking…, but not so much in Fall and Winter because they stay sheltered in cold weather.”  Despite snakes in the forest, walking barefoot is relatively safe.  ”It is more of a problem in poor or underdeveloped countries where sanitation is a problem and cities are dirty.  Like streets that have both people and livestock using them, along with garbage and trash.  They can be quite filthy.”
    Going barefoot full time is a relatively recent development in Martina’s life.  Like most children, she was barefoot a majority of the time, but she didn’t “shuck the shoes” completely until recently when she moved away from home.  She found herself wearing them less and less until she wasn’t wearing them at all.  As a final act of her commitment to being barefoot, she turned her shoes over to her Mistress, who is Wiccan.
    “It is something I want[ed] to do, and something that Mistress says is right for me.  That is why she asked for my shoes…as a way to encourage me to be true to my commitment.  And it is something that she finds erotic in a way that relates to how we first met and connected.”
      Martina and her Mistress like to incorporate nature into a lot of their activities.  This includes outdoor ritual glass dancing, which will be covered in “Blessed Be Thy Feet, Part 7″.

Blessed Be Thy Feet, Part 4: No Shirt, No Shoes, No Problem!

For many of us, going barefoot during childhood was a way of life, especially during the summer.  Our mothers would admonish us to put on shoes and we’d laugh.  Eventually, though, we grew up and donned the footwear that best suited our needs.  Tight shoes for formal occasions, rubber shoes for gym, and flip flops for the summer.  Some people, however, have reverted back to their childhood ways and go barefoot everywhere.  These people, commonly known as barefooters or in some Pagan circles as Earthwalkers, go barefoot a majority of the time: summer, winter, city streets, stores, restaurants, etc.   Some of you may laugh, some of you may roll your eyes, but the Barefoot community is growing, not just for humans but for horses as well (I kid you not!).

I got started on this path about feet because a fellow sister-in-arms who reads this blog is a barefooter.  I’ll share her story and exploits in a future blog.  I also heard a Micheal Sandler, who is a barefoot advocate and runner, do an interview on the radio and my interest was piqued.  He wasn’t Pagan, and he seemed fairly main stream.   However, when I requested an interview, I received no response (shame on you, Micheal Sandler!).

Micheal Sandler’s site: runbare.com

 While there are many sites and researchers who do not promote running or simply going barefoot because “it’s dangerous”, a fair amount of research has been done that proves that going barefoot and running barefoot is healthier for humans over all.  According to the researchers at Harvard’s Skeletal Biology Lab, running barefoot tends to make people land on their fore foot to mid foot, which is more natural and healthier for the foot than landing on the the heel.

Just like with any movement, there are lots of groups springing up to meet the demand for education, publicity, and fellowship.  One of the many out there is the Society for Barefoot Living.  Their site has a lot of good information, but the site hasn’t been updated since 2010.  Some of the information about laws may be outdated.  There are also tons of Yahoo groups for barefooters out there, but I’ve found that they were either non-active or didn’t want me in their group.  I was really curious about the group Spiritualbarefootlifestyles, but they seem to be dead.  I joined several months ago, and there has been no activity.  It’s a shame because they taut themselves as for “Pagans, Wiccans, Spiritualist, ‘Mystics’, and the like who enjoy being barefoot as a lifestyle or as a part of worship.”

So where does that leave Pagans in the barefoot movement?  Well, to be honest, I’m not really sure.  From my brief survey of folks from several different paths in different parts of the United States, there doesn’t seem to be a large Pagan presence in the Barefooter movement.  In the Southwest, people don’t go barefoot much because of scorpions, snakes, and nasty sticker plants.  In the Midwest, it’s usually too cold.  In Hawaii, nobody would respond to my emails.  What I have found, though, is that a lot of Pagans will take their shoes off in circle, so that they “can feel the Earth energy and connect” or something like that.  I’ve also had several Pagans tell me that they’ve noticed that people will go skyclad in circle but still wear shoes.  That’s a little like wearing utilitarian socks during sex: visually unappealing and just wrong.  If you’d like to get started going barefoot slowly, see Christopher Penczak’s book The Inner Temple of Witchcraft for a nice Earthwalking meditation.

Krampusnacht Remembered

As I’ve been doing research and soliciting interviews for upcoming blogs, a fond memory of my Krampusnacht popped into my head.  Hopefully your Krampusnacht was all you wanted it to be, and if not, well there’s nothing stopping you from having Krampusnacht tonight!

If you’d like to contribute blog ideas or be interviewed for a blog (I’m currently interviewing Earthwalkers, barefooters, Hare Krishnas, Mormons, Muslims, foot washers, Pagans, and Sungazers), please drop me a line at chirp_sparrow@yahoo.com.