Intercourse in Ritual

“There is something so amazing about a sexual climax, where you are so engulfed by the sensations, that I think you actually transcend your own self and ego … and all that you identify with at that point, and [you] achieve a new level or consciousness that is totally pure.” –Martina

There’s tons of books and websites and workshops out there about sex magic and tantric sex.  That’s not what this entry is about.

Intercourse in ritual is a natural extension of Hieros Gamos, the sacred marriage and union of the God and Goddess.  There are many different ways that sex can be used in ritual to enhance the ritual and magic.  And sex, as it’s being used here, means with two or more people or solitary.  Masturbation works just as well as partnered sex.  Here’s a short, short run down of some different ideas to get you into the Beltane spirit.

Sex to call the quarters
Consider using different positions, toys, or acts to call in the elements and quarters.

Sex to Invoke the Lord and Lady
Consider using different positions or toys to invoke the God and Goddess.  If you’re having sex with a partner of the opposite sex/gender affiliation, when invoking the Goddess, the girl can be on top.  When invoking the God, guy on top.



Sex to raise energy
In many different sex magic traditions, sex is used to generate the energy behind the magic, with the spell being completed upon climax.

Literal Hieros Gamos
Instead of an athame and chalice, use your body as it was meant to be used!

Libation
If your tradition calls for libations to be poured during ritual, sexual fluids are a wonderful libation liquid and are much more meaningful than cheap wine.

Sex to ground
While sex can be used to raise energy, sex can also be used to dissipate energy.  As you climax, feel all that extra energy from ritual seep into the ground and leave your body.

Sex as the whole ritual
For those with stamina and creativity, sex can be the whole ritual act.  Foreplay can be used to call in the elements and invoke the Lord and Lady, food can be added in for cakes and ale, and climax after climax can be added in for magical acts, libations, and grounding.

Remember:
Let my worship be within the heart that rejoices, for behold, all acts of love and pleasure are my rituals.


With the Lady’s words in mind, outdoor sex should be done on private property, no underage participants should be present at rituals that involve sex or sexual acts, and all sexual acts should be consensual.

These folks have sex in ritual:
Erotic Sensations:  http://eroticsensations.us/
Tonia Brown: www.thebackseatwriter.com

Worship Is A Submissive Act: A D/S Dichotomy

Recently I did some solitary spirit work where I interacted with my matron goddess on an extremely personal level.  During this work I saw sides of my matron that I had never experienced before:  the Lover and the Domme.  I am intimately acquainted with these facets of my patron god–perhaps too much so, and I know they exist in other goddesses, but it was exciting and refreshing to be treated this way by my matron.  I felt like I had finally been let in on a secret about her.

The idea of worship being a submissive act is certainly not a new one.  Anyone who is a true worshipper and not just a part-time actor is being submissive to their deity.  This is clear in how many religions refer to “Lord” or “Lady”.  People bow to pray, sometimes in extremely vulnerable and suggestive ways.

The word Islam in Arabic means “submissive”.  As Bob Dylan sings, “Everybody’s got to serve somebody.”
       However, this dominant-submissive dichotomy gets complicated as our spiritual lives and mundane lives mix and swirl.  For most people, clergy and spiritual leaders in particular, in one world they are a leader and in the other they are a follower.  It’s hard to balance these two roles out, but that’s often what is required of us.  To continue with the BDSM motif, we all must be switches.  Without balance, there is chaos and that’s when we become the most vulnerable and weak.
              
        There’s no best way to solve this problem.  For myself, when the imbalance starts to occur, I have to rearrange my life so I can give my deities and my spiritual self the time that is needed.  This often requires a sacrifice of something–something fun I want to do, inconveniencing someone else to cover my obligations–but sacrifice goes right along with submission.  It’s hard to relinquish the control and ego that goes along with being the dom/me in our everyday lives.  But it has to be done.  As those in the scene will tell you, you can’t be a great dom/me if you’ve not been a sub first.  It’s that balance thing again.
        Before I end this mini-sermon on the virtues of submission, let me pass along these pearls that were given to me in my temple:
1. We all need to tend the “flame” in our own way and be mindful of it.  We need to use the periodic monotony and tedium of the chore to reflect on our path and listen for guidance.
2. It’s not personal.  It might seem personal or sound personal, but it’s not.  We need to take everything that comes our way and use it as fuel for the flame we are tending.  By doing this, the actions and words are changed and sent out into the universe as new energy.
3. Be a good sub, shut up, and listen!  Your deity dom/mes will always take care of you–but only if you listen and follow directions.
Blessed Be!

 

Pain, Blood, Drugs, and All Those Fun Things: Taboo or Mystique?

            As discussed in my previous blog, pain and the Sadomasochistic practices that bring it about can fall into many different categories.  Some of these fit categories that most folks are comfortable talking about in public and fit into the “safe” side of Wicca and Paganism, but some of the categories do not.  As was also discussed in a previous blog, while these practices represent the dark side of how things work that doesn’t make them evil.  It makes them real.

Taboo and mystique walk hand in hand.  If something is taboo and forbidden then of course it gets whispered about and a certain mystique starts to grow around it.  The more we are told that we shouldn’t want something then the more we want it.  What is it like to get scourged?  Oh, I shouldn’t want to know because it’s painful.  Pain shouldn’t cause me pleasure.  My patron God shouldn’t make my knees weak and my vagina wet.  What if the thought of your God does make you wet while you’re getting scourged in ritual?  Is that not an act of love and pleasure and therefore the most meaningful kind of worship?
            The “Charge of the Goddess” teaches us not only about acts of love and pleasure, but it also teaches us about inner mysteries.  If you can’t find what you’re looking for within yourself you will never find it outside of yourself.  If the thought of a blood rite doesn’t make you feel swimmy headed and wonderful while you’re planning your handfasting, then it probably won’t when it actually happens. 
Personally, I think some taboo associated with the topics touched upon in this blog may be appropriate.  It certainly does heighten the mystique.  But also some things are not suitable in a family situation.  It just depends on you, your beliefs, your partner(s), and your group(s). 
            However, beware of too much mystique.  If something is built up beyond imagining, then the real thing will never measure up.  How are you going to feel if the pig doesn’t go down easy and you have to shoot your sacrifice three times?  It happens because it’s real.  If you’re easily disappointed when mystiques get shattered, then perhaps some of these taboos should take place in an inner or astral temple.  As anyone who works with these wonderfully imaginative religious places can tell you, the mystique rarely falls short of reality when you commune with the God and Goddess in your head. 
Aren’t you glad it’s the maiden and not the crone?