Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF!

This was posted on Facebook by Church Militant.  I liked it because it’s true.  I’ve seen a lot of bitching this year on Facebook by Pagans bemoaning all the commercialism attached to Valentine’s Day and the fact that they feel left out because they did not properly budget for this year.  Those aren’t really their words, but that’s the basic gist.  What they said was “Whine, whine, whine, bitch, bitch, bitch, moan, moan, moan.”  If you’re a Pagan, you really shouldn’t care about celebrating Valentine’s Day.  Instead, you should be focused on celebrating Lupercalia!  All you need to do on Lupercalia is fuck and fuck and fuck some more!  If you’re really going to be fun, get out your play toys and beat some fertility into each other.  Which brings us to the lovely Aphrodite, one of the patronesses here at the Barbed Pentacle.

Evidently, Cupid is a very bad boy and Aphrodite is a heavy-handed MILF, at least according to classical art.

This picture is like a reverse pinata–blindfold the kid and beat him with a stick.

The greeting card companies never market cards with Cupid on it that say, “Pray that Cupid isn’t mischievous this year and sets you up with a psychopath” because that’s one of the fucked up things that Cupid likes to do for fun.

Often Ares or Mars, Aphrodite’s long-time lover, gets in on the action.

Sometimes, though, Aphrodite and Cupid gang-up on Ares.

It’s like if Rapunzel were in to flagellation! Ares looks like he’s smiling.

However, the MILF always gets what she deserves in the end.

The ways of exploring the relationship between Aphrodite, Cupid, and Ares are endless. If you want to go the S&M route, roses are a good choice to use as an implement, as are arrows.  Field arrows aren’t very expensive and offer lots of options.   The shaft can be used like a rod or cane on a willing sacrifice, the fletching is nice for tickling, and the point, well, it has all kinds of possibilities.  If Love hasn’t been kind to you, you can always beat it.  The ancients were fond of creating sculptures and such to represent deities and ideas.  If the harvest was poor or some sort of natural disaster occurred, the sculptural representative received the physical brunt of the supplicants’ displeasure.  There’s no reason not to continue this tradition.  At the very least, it’ll be fun and make you feel better.

What will I be doing for Lupercalia?  I’m going to wear red and let the Big Bad Wolf eat me up!

My theory is that the story of “Little Red Riding Hood” is a vague carry over from ancient Lupercalian celebrations.  I haven’t done any research toward substantiating my theory yet, but maybe one day.

Looking for something to read on Lupercalia?  Try Tonia Brown’s Devouring Milo.  I’ll admit, I haven’t gotten very far in the book yet because I’ve been thankfully too busy blessedly spreading my fingers as a sexy word whore, but what I read was fantastically gory.


These folks know how to suck your titties:

Mystic Artisanshttps://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soulhttp://passionandsoul.com/

Help with the project: http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/more-shibari-you-can-use

Tonia Brown:  www.thebackseatwriter.com


Quadrivium Supplies:  http://www.quadrivium-supplies.com/  

Hyperdreams Interactive Storieshttp://www.hyperdreams.com/



A Different Discipline

Congratulations, again, to Tonie Ervin for winning the “Just Smack Me” spoon decorating contest. Although she has a vast amount of artistic talent, Tonie was a shoo-in for the contest because she was the only person to enter a spoon.

I don’t know what happened to all of you folks who posted on Facebook and Twitter your interest in the project or all of you who emailed me privately for more information. Perhaps you broke your hand or popped out a baby earlier than expected or weren’t smacked up side your head by inspiration. What’s more likely is you were full of promises and plans but mismanaged your time because you’re undisciplined. Does that sound like what happened with your spoon plans? It’s ironic, because Holda/Pertcha would smack you with a wooden spoon for not following through with your plans.

Discipline is something that seems to be slipping away in many cultures, particularly in the United States. Folks think that once they turn 18 that they don’t have to answer to anyone, and while that’s true, that doesn’t mean that you can act like a child and be irresponsible.

There’s a concept in the BDSM community called domestic discipline. While like many concepts, it means different things to different people, most practitioners agree that at its core it’s a relationship where one party is answerable to the other for keeping the home and household running smoothly. If things go awry, then there are reasonable consequences. Couples from all walks of life and religious backgrounds practice domestic discipline, but it has a strong following among Christians because of the scriptures that seem to support the practice (http://www.christiandomesticdiscipline.com/home.html).

To see how my fellow Pagans felt about domestic discipline, I posed this query on a Fetlife group: “I’m curious how Pagans/Heathens/other nature path folks that also practice domestic discipline blend the two together.” I was met with mix reactions. I found that a majority of the kinky Pagans in the group were ignorant of what domestic discipline meant and completely misunderstood the question. Some of the folks who responded seemed angry that I would even pose such a question. Perhaps they had bad experiences from their Christian days or perhaps they were just dumb assholes. Who knows? However, I did receive a few bits of positive feed back and good ideas.

Why would someone choose to go this route in their relationship? Why do folks join the army? Some folks join the army to serve, but a lot of people join the army so that they don’t have to think about how to order their lives and for the comfort that comes from that. Many of the people who are in a domestic discipline relationship crave the structure that this type of relationship brings to their lives. While there is a certain amount of stress related to having to meet expectations and responsibilities, this type of relationship is often less stressful overall because you have help from your partner in meeting your goals–big and small. It’s the same concept as having an exercise partner. You’re more likely to meet your goals if you have a partner backing you up that you’re accountable to than if you just go it alone.

Unlike the Christian “DD” folks, Pagans don’t have holy texts backing up the practice of domestic discipline, but there are plenty of deities that could be described as domestic discipline deities–or as I like to call them “Triple D’s”. Essentially, any deity can be viewed this way, but it’s not uncommon to see domestic and martial deities in a more disciplinary fashion. Domestic deities, such as Holda and Hera, often have myths attached to them of what happens when their human followers lack discipline. If you think that you may be interested in pursuing a religiously based domestic discipline relationship, looking to your deities is a good first step. You can go about this two different ways. You can engage in a DD relationship with only your deity of choice, which is a good option if you’re single or if your partner is not interested in a DD relationship. A second option is to engage in a DD relationship with your partner and your deity. In this case, your deity acts as a kind of back bone for the agreement–and agreement is the key word here. For either choice, you will need to negotiate with the parties involved and come up with an agreement and possibly a contract. And of course, if you are engaging in a DD relationship with actual humans, all parties involved need to be at least 18 years old.

The second step for engaging in a DD relationship from a Pagan standpoint is to incorporate an act of magic in the process. A suggestion from MrSennerael, who participated in the Fetlife discussion, is “Pick a rune [and] walk with it through a moon phase. Some runes would be easier than others, but if your partner likes to be marked that can be fun [to] see how and what energies [and] deities play better in your home [and] with what stimulus.” I really like the idea about the symbols. To seal my own commitment to Holda– my Triple D, I created a sigil from Futhark runes that I can easily reproduce all over the place, like a school girl writing her name constantly. Every time I see the sigil, it reminds me of my commitment, and every time I reproduce it or touch the sigil, it recharges and strengthens the magic behind my commitment and contract.

Daphne (above and below) has taken the concept of a commitment to deity and domestic discipline to a higher level. She felt a call from Hera, a classic Triple D, and not only entered into a dedicated contract with her, but as part of her contract, she has completely transformed her appearance and behavior.

At a recent ritual that I attended, the facilitator charged the participants to ditch the idea of creating New Year’s resolutions that would be abandoned with in a few months due to a lack of discipline. Instead of resolutions, we were charged to make a commitment to our deities in the new year. I charge you to do the same and to bring some discipline into your renewed relationships.

These folks are always disciplined:

Mystic Artisans: https://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans

Passion And Soul: http://passionandsoul.com/

Knotjokin Rope Floggers: http://www.knotjokin.etsy.com

Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

Christian food is nourishing too!: A Pagan Service Announcement

Right now, there are many people in America who are struggling to make ends meet and feed their families.  Some of these people are Pagans, Heathens, and other non-Christians.  Often times, people decide that they do need assistance from agencies other than those run by the state and federal governments.  In many areas, these agencies are run by Christians.  Some non-Christians take offense to this and act in foolish and pig-headed ways.  If you and your family are starving and freezing, you are stupid not to take whatever help is offered–even if you have to smile and listen to someone tell you about the joys of Jesus.

What you find at a Pagan food bank.

Despite what you may have heard or what you may believe, Christian food is just as nourishing to you as it is to a Christian.  You will not burst into flames if you eat it.  Likewise, Christian emergency fund money will pay your electric bill just as efficiently as anybody else’s legal tender.  Also, despite what you may have heard or what you want to believe, many Christian run food banks don’t care what your religious beliefs are, nor will they refuse to help you if you are not a Christian.  Some places will indeed ask if you have taken Jesus as your Savior, but often times answering “no” will not mean you won’t get food.  Usually people are denied food at these places because when asked about their beliefs they become belligerent, defensive dumbasses that care more about proclaiming their Pagan beliefs than feeding their children.

If you are questioned about your religious beliefs at a Christian food bank, there are many ways to politely respond to their questions without being a hungry asshole.  If someone asks you if you know Jesus or if you have taken Jesus as your Savior, you can say, “No, but I’m open to hearing a little more about him,” or you can say “I feel that I’m just not ready to take that step yet.”  Both of these responses are truthful to your beliefs and they are respectful to the Christians.  You may get preached at a little or get handed a tract, but isn’t that just a small price to pay for not having to buy groceries with money you don’t really have?  If you get asked if you have been Saved, just reply with an honest “No” and let it go (unless you come from a Presbyterian background, then you can honestly answer that you’re predestined).  If you are asked if you believe in a Heaven or Hell, don’t launch into a diatribe about how you don’t believe in Hell or how wonderful the Summerland is going to be.  Just simply respond, “I’m not sure, but I would love to hear about your belief in Heaven and Hell.”  There’s no harm done in listening, and before you know it, you’ll have your groceries in the car and your emergency fund money in the electric company’s bank account!

If you have noticed, you’ve not once had to say that you’re Pagan (or other non-Christian religious adherent).  If you’re smart and sensitive to your surroundings, you will not wear obvious Pagan jewelry or t-shirts at the Christian food bank, and you’ll have enough sense to cover up any Pagan tattoos.  What should you do if a Christian says,  “It doesn’t sound like you’re a Christian, what religion are you?”  As with all the previous answers, the perfect answer is simple and leaves room for the Christian to proselyte if he/she wishes too.  Try answering in this manner: “I follow a Nature-based belief system that has great respect for all the religions and believes that many paths are valid, including Christianity.”  Or, you can give the simplest answer of all: “I’m non-denominational.”

How can you find food banks in your area?  The easiest way is to call your local Health Department, Agricultural Extension Office, or Department of Social Services.  Just tell them that it’s been a hard month and you need some temporary assistance with food.  If you don’t feel comfortable with this, lie and say you’re calling on behalf of a friend.

Usually you are denied food because with the bad economy nobody is donating food.

In a related bit of advice:  If you receive any sort of state or federal assistance, whether it’s Medicaid, SNAP, or Pell Grants, don’t be a dumbass and complain in public (like on social networking sites) about how much you hate certain local industries just because they irritate you, i.e. the Christmas tree industry or tourism.  The tax money from these industries helps to pay the public assistance that you’re receiving, and nobody feels like their tax money should go to you when all you do is appear to be an ungrateful brat who needs his or her ass beat!

These folks know all the right responses!

Passion And Soul: http://passionandsoul.com/

Knotjokin Rope Floggers: http://www.knotjokin.etsy.com

Tonia Brown www.thebackseatwriter.com

Just Smack Me!: http://barbedpentacle.com/just-smack-me-a-wooden-spoon-decorating-contest/