A special thanks to Catherine W. and Tony B. for making this post so cool!
Many of you have seen the above clip. There’s a good chance that the above clip may not be on YouTube forever. It seems like Fox News is doing a pretty good job of having them removed at a pretty steady rate. Only the guilty want to hide the evidence. I’m also sure that many of you have seen the link for the Change.org petition: http://www.change.org/petitions/fox-news-make-a-public-apology-for-the-statements-made-about-the-pagan-wiccan-community
I could whine and pick apart the stupid fluff piece that Tammy and Tucker put together. I could talk about how Tammy doesn’t realize that there’s a difference between eight and ten, that you don’t take Halloween off (you take the day after off!), and that atheists don’t celebrate anything in a religious manner. I could rant about Tucker’s misguided concept that this is all about a war on Christianity, when really he should be focusing on the fact that a state supported school should honor the separation of church and state and that no one–regardless of being a member of a majority or minority religion–should be given a religious holiday (you get to take five days a semester anyway–fucking use them wisely!). However, I’m not going to do that. I’m not even going to encourage you to sign the apology petition. Let’s face it, Fox News most likely isn’t going to issue a written apology, much less have anyone go on air and give face time to the matter.
My solution is simply to send Tucker and Tammy, care of Fox News, a symbolic gesture. Tucker and Tammy can bitch and make fun of our holidays all they want, but all the cool traditions that they secretly look forward to with Christmas, Easter, New Years, and Thanksgiving come from Pagan roots. Easter bunnies, chocolate, eggs, Christmas trees, presents, alcohol, fire crackers, Peeps, over-eating, bread–the list is endless. They’re just too WASP to realize this.
So, send these insects a symbolic gesture. Package up your favorite Pagan holiday symbol and mail it to them. You can do it once, or you can do it for every turn of the wheel. I’m going to be decorating plastic eggs with bow ties to send them for Ostara. I’ll probably stuff them with condoms, just in case Tucker and Tammy don’t realize that Pagans were the ones to start advocating for safe and responsible sex.
Tammy Bruce and Tucker Carlson
c/o Fox News
1211 Avenue of the Americas, New York, NY 10036
And FYI Tucker and Tammy: You need the Pagans to be able to figure out when your Savior was nailed to a cross. Easter is the first Sunday after the first full moon on or after the Vernal Equinox–not the same day every year like most deaths. Dab some lamb’s blood on your lintel and think about that one!
These folks know that the only good use for a bow tie is as an impromptu cock ring:
Mystic Artisans: https://www.facebook.com/mysticartisans
Passion And Soul: http://passionandsoul.com/
Knotjokin Rope Floggers: http://www.knotjokin.etsy.com
Tonia Brown: www.thebackseatwriter.com